Sexual performance anxiety is a common experience for many people and can interfere with sexual enjoyment and intimacy. Fortunately, there are proven steps you can take to decrease it.
Determine what you are anxious about
Know that you are not alone. Many people worry about their sexual performance even if they don’t say so. The first step is to determine the cause of your anxiety. Do you have a poor body image? Are you worried about being too adventurous or not adventurous enough? Is it fear of letting go physically and emotionally that is a barrier? These and many others are common reasons people feel sexual performance anxiety. Knowing the root of anxiety enables you to face and get rid of it.
Stop putting yourself down
Challenge negative thoughts such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m going to disappoint my partner” by reframing them more positively can help break the cycle of anxiety. For example, challenge, “I’m not good enough,” with, “I’m doing my best, and my partner is here to support me.”
Talk with your partner
Communication is vital in any intimate relationship. Share your concerns and fears and work together to find ways to address them. Talking can help reduce anxiety and promote a sense of connection and intimacy. While you may feel uncomfortable revealing your vulnerability, you will likely experience relief once you voice your concern. All aspects of your relationship will benefit.
Seek professional help
Professionally offer many treatments that help decrease sexual performance anxiety. They can also determine if your stress has a medical or emotional component. Healthcare professionals offer solutions to everyday stress-producing issues such as premature ejaculation, hormone imbalances, etc.
Talk with your healthcare provider
Your healthcare provider may be able to determine if a medical condition is the root cause. The provider may refer you to a specialist. Your doctor will ask you about your sexual history to determine how long ago you have had anxiety regarding sexual performance and what thoughts may interfere with your sex life.
A doctor will examine you and perform tests to determine if medication or a medical condition is the root cause. Your doctor can help determine the cause and recommend treatments.
Work with a therapist
A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support in addressing the causes of anxiety and help you develop effective strategies for managing it. Talk with a counselor or therapist with experience treating sexual issues. Therapy can help you understand and eliminate the causes of your anxiety about sexual performance. Practitioners teach you techniques that relieve stress.
Taking care of the whole self, including physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects, is essential. If any of these aspects of your life are imbalanced, it can increase anxiety. For example, if you are always tired, it’s unlikely you will be as interested in sex or enjoy your sexual relationship as much as you would if you are well rested.
Being kind and compassionate towards oneself can effectively manage sexual performance anxiety. Instead of being self-critical or judgmental, try practicing self-compassion by acknowledging that it’s okay to make mistakes and that everyone experiences anxiety occasionally.
Employ relaxation techniques
Relaxation techniques like visualization, deep breathing, and meditation can help reduce anxiety and promote a sense of calm. These techniques can be practiced before and during sexual activity and help break the anxiety cycle.
Achieve intimacy outside of sex
You can be intimate without having sexual intercourse. Take a hot bath or give your partner a sensual massage. You don’t have to be sexually explicit.
Relax and enjoy the moment. While you are making love, put on romantic music or watch a sexy film. Find something that makes you happy. Let go of your worries about your sexual performance and get excited again.
Focus on pleasure, not performance. Focusing too much on performance can fuel anxiety. Instead, try focusing on pleasure and enjoyment. Exploring different types of touch and simply concentrating on the physical sensations of pleasure.
Be confident and free of sexual performance anxiety
Take it easy on yourself. Do not be critical of your body or abilities in bed. You can get help for sexual performance anxiety to have a happy and fulfilling sex life.
Sexual performance anxiety can be challenging, but you can take steps to overcome it. Communication, relaxation techniques, challenging negative thoughts, focusing on pleasure, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support can all effectively manage sexual performance anxiety and promote a healthy and satisfying relationship.